28 weeks

Hi Baby,

Well here we are, it's the third trimester, and I know you will be here in about the blink of an eye. Pregnancy insomnia is setting in (a little earlier this time), and I am growing quite large, but it's like I always say, "Go big or go home." Turns out I will do both, since I will be going to the city I grew up in to have you...I'll actually deliver you in the hospital that I was born in, and the hospital that contains my very first memory of meeting my brother Chris for the first time. I think it's so sweet that I will deliver you in the hospital that contains my first memory and my first breathtaking sight of my brother whom I love so much, and that this will likely be one of Harrison's first memories...meeting you!

I went to see Dr. Yang on Tuesday (which was my actual 28 week mark). It was the death by sugar appointment otherwise known as the glucose test. If I remember correctly, in America, I drank an orange fluid. Some people love it or hate it. I didn't think it was terrible, although it took me about 15 minutes to get down. In China the fluid was clear and WAY sweeter. I drank it more quickly though, because I knew the sooner I waited that hour, the sooner I could get my bloodwork over with. I HATE BLOODWORK! However, I thought I could drink water at the same time, so as I was in the waiting room after I drank the straight sugar, I sipped on a bottle of water. The nurse (Candy) ran up to me and said, "you MUST not drink this....GO, use the toilet immediately." Oh dear. So, I went on my punishment bathroom run...oops.

I saw the doc and we discovered that you are laying sideways in my belly. He said to me, "hmmmm, it appears the baby is transverse, do you get kicked a lot here?" And he pointed to my left side. I said yes, so he put the doppler on my right, and BOOM, there you were! Your little heart was beating at 136 per minute and it was a sound that I will never tire of! Then I went to get the dreaded blood taken. Your daddy has had a habit of coming with me to these appointments, but he stayed home this time as he had caught yet another throw-up bug while he was on a camping trip this past weekend. So, I had no hand to hold during this time. However, I will say I prefer getting my blood drawn in China over the States. Apparently I have delicate veins and it's hard to stick me with a needle. I have had nightmare appointments where I get stuck at least 6 times (no exaggeration), so I told the doctor this several months ago on a prior appointment where I needed the dreaded needle in my arm. He looked me up and down and said, "It will be no problem. You are not Chinese. Chinese people are very small and have very small veins. You are bigger than Chinese person. In America, maybe you have small veins, but here, no problem." I laughed to myself at his very kind way of telling me that I am not small here. However, he was right. It is no problem here for me, whereas it has been a problem since high school in America and involves lots of tears and anxiety. I sure wish I could pack that little chinese technician in my suitcase for the rest of my life's bloodwork.

The doctor called me that afternoon to inform me that my levels are fine and I don't have gestational diabetes! Woo hoo! I am a bit surprised as over the past 2 months I have consumed ungodly amounts of sugar, but I am so thankful. After sharing this news he did tell me to watch my weight, but no worries my child, it won't stop me from making you big and healthy! I look a lot bigger with you than I did with your brother, but I am gaining less weight (at least, so far) and his kind suggestions are a far cry from a very mean nurse I had during your brother's pregnancy who constantly told me I was just going to be fat if I didn't stop gaining weight (true story). Overall, I'm very thankful for you, no matter how big my belly gets. I'm constantly reminded by my rapid growth that you are coming soon, and I can't wait to meet you!

I'm thinking more and more that you might be another boy, but I'm not as sure as I was with Harrison, so I guess we will find out in July. Daddy and I are almost settled on names. I think we have a first name for you whether you are a boy or girl, but we are having trouble agreeing on a middle name. I can't wait to see which one you are and know what your name will be.

I have a picture but can't find the cord to download it to the computer. Love you little one!

More soon,
Mommy

3 years ago today

Was the day we lost Kevin, my sweet brother. I cannot believe that 3 years have passed since the day I heard of his death. As I was washing dishes last night I couldn't see through my own tears as I was remembering the call informing me of the huge loss of his life. I truly crumbled. I will never forget the grief that followed and that still washes over me today. The loss of his life is and was so big because he was so lovable and loving...one of the most tremendous people I have ever known.

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But, unfortunately, as many good and fun times that were had, there were an equal amount of sad and scary times on Kevin's behalf. Sadly, his life ended way too soon at the age of 23 as he lost a long battle with addiction while traveling in Laos. I still cannot believe he is gone. I think of him daily and miss him with each thought, and I cling to many memories...some of which I thought I would share.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1992 I met the cutest little boy and girl you ever did see. We went and saw Aladdin together at Akers Mill Theater. Little did I know that less than a year later they would become family. Shortly on, we were vacationing together and soon I was driving and it was my job to pick Kevin up from his Woodward bus stop at Gorin's almost daily. Fast forward through several years and we were road-tripping (just the 2 of us) to Virginia Tech to visit my brother and his future wife. Kev was always sending me funny hats for gifts because he knew I would wear them. Somewhere along the way, we became great friends. He could tell a story like no one I have ever known, and could imitate a character in almost every movie known to man. He had a bottomless pit for a stomach, and an insatiable appetite for pro-football. And he ALWAYS kept me laughing, and he stuck up for me during some really tough times. He became a true brother to me, Robin, and Chris.

He stood in all of our weddings, and gave the most eloquent toasts at each one. I watched him catch the garter at my sister's wedding (after he lunged for it), and I watched him stand as Best Man in my brother's wedding (pictured below). They were truly the best of friends from the beginning. I loved that my brother had a brother.

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I watched him fall in love himself with sweet Ashley (the blonde pictured above), and I watched him start a life on his own out west. The greatest gift he ever got me was just a t-shirt, and it was so precious to me because it was the first thing he ever bought for me with his own hard-earned money.

And then he travelled the world...specifically Asia, and here I am now, watching another year pass since we lost him. I am in the same country he was in the last time he emailed me. I am pregnant as I was when I learned of his death. It's all too familiar this time around and it's hard. I so wish he had made it home to meet Harrison and to meet his future nieces and nephews. I so wish that the last time I had hugged him, that I never would have let him go. I so wish for just a few more minutes with him that I will never get on this Earth.

But, I'm thankful. As hard as it is to have lost a family member at such a young age, I would not trade a minute of it if it meant missing knowing Kevin for those 15+ years. At his funeral so much of our time was spent laughing as we remembered his life. He loved so well and was so secure in other's love for him. I am sad that he will just be a name and memory to my children and that they will never have the joy of knowing him, but I am grateful that the tragic story of his death can be one that will teach them that none of us are invincible.

Shortly after his death, someone said that Kevin made the world so bright and now it's just not the same color anymore. 'Tis true. He added a vibrance to life that left us feeling not as bright after his loss, but thankfully he is shining brighter now than he ever did on this Earth as he is healed and whole now. He had a genuine faith that was as real as his struggles, and his faith is now his sight. If it weren't for this hope, the grief would be too much to bear, and for that I'm so grateful.

Thank you, Lord, for both the joy and pain that were Kevin's life and death. Thank you for making him my brother. I am so glad that I knew him for every second that I did.

Kev, I love you buddy, and I miss you everyday. See you soon.

Love,

Sissy

What a week (and it's only Tuesday)!

The mid-afternoon hour has held some surprises for us these last couple of days. First off, the last week or so has been really physical for me...lots of carrying kids, up and down stairs, little sleep, etc. So, I was tired for sure. Yesterday at about 3:30, I was in pain and thought I might be having some contractions. Afterward, I detected something that I should NOT re-name on the blog that happened to me right before I went into labor with Harrison. I freaked out and thought that labor was imminent. I called Brett in tears, who told me to call the doctor, who told me to come in. Then Brett rushed home and all 3 of us jumped in a cab and went. I was a mess the whole time having "gone there" in my mind. What if we have a preemie? In China? Where they don't do much to take care of premature babies?

However, "it" turned out to be just a fluke, a very disturbing and gross fluke, but a fluke nonetheless, and everything was fine. The doctor did not feel any contractions but said it would be normal if I did feel them with how busy my body has been. We heard the baby's heartbeat and I was so relieved. I told him I was sorry and he replied, "Why?" He is so kind and understanding, and told me to take it easy.

Having Harrison at the appointment was really sweet. When the doctor was checking my belly. H patted it too and said, "Mom, you okay?" Then he turned to the doctor as he was getting ready to put the doppler on my belly and said, "that not nice, you be nice to my mommy." After we left, my tears were tears of relief. Brett and I had scheduled a baby-sitter so we could grab a quick dinner. We decided to keep our date, but I did not have much time to get ready. So, as I was standing in the bathroom trying to de-nastify myself and put on some make-up, I said, "Brett, I'm sorry I won't look super cute for our date," to which Harrison replied, "Mommy, you look bee-ful." Such a sweet little man and he was so worried about me. Thankfully it was nothing.

But, today was another story. As I was re-filling the m&m jar for H's potty treats (and yes, I have an update on that), I took a few. As I was chewing, I thought, "Man, I got a hard m&m." It only took a few seconds to realize that it was not, in fact, the delicious m&m that I was dining on, but MY TOOTH. I broke my tooth on an m&m. Geez Louise.

Rewind to our time in Thailand...I went to the dentist and had to get a tooth worked on. They tried to work on it without novicaine(sp?) since I'm pregnant. About 30 seconds in, I was like, "you are crazy, please drug me." They gave me a very small amount. However, they also noticed that some of my back teeth were beginning to have cavities. Actually they said they were decaying, but I like the word 'cavity' better. They said to watch them and for sure get them checked out after the baby since I really could not get any more medicine injected into my gums.

So, today, I go to the dentist. Yes, a chinese dentist. Was I nervous? Slightly. I have had a recurring dream since I was about 12 that all my teeth fell out. I should not use the word dream, because it is truly a nightmare. That nightmare was reality today, and I am living in a foreign country, which intensifies the nightmare. (Insert bloodcurdling scream here). One time a couple years ago we were eating with Brett's sweet parents and his dad broke his front tooth on a fork. I remember having the thought, " I would just hate that."

Well, it happened. So, we go to the dentist, and she says, "oh, you're pregnant." I thought this could be an issue. Sure enough, it was. She could not give me "the injection" as she calls it. She checks out my poor broken tooth (molar, by the way) and says, "Lauren, it is very bad." Oh no. Like, bad as in, I need to have all my teeth removed? Like, bad as in, the cavity is under the gum, and you may need a root canal. (insert more screaming here). So, she cleans it out as best she can, but does not get all the decay and then caps it warning me that it might fall out (the cap, not the tooth, but I am not holding my breath, because I think I am on the verge of becoming toothless) and just to come back when it does. Oh dear.

So, she tells me if it stays in tact, then to get it fixed after the baby. Her exact words were, "once you have the baby, after you stop milking the baby, you can get the decay fixed." I had gauze in my mouth and really thought I was going to spit it out and die laughing at the term, "milking my baby", however, I think it is kind of catchy.

I told Brett that I fear that all of my teeth will fall out and that I will be in dentures before my next birthday which is a mere 2 months away.

Oh, the lengths we will go to for our children!

Pictures to come, and hopefully a less eventful rest of the week!

Monday

This past Monday, Brett left town. Before he scooted off to the capital city for meetings, Harrison and I met him for lunch. We had a dance party at lunch and then H decided to help his old man out with the luggage. He's a helpful little guy, and these videos may only be interesting to a select few, but I thought they were pretty cute (except for the whining at the beginning). Thankfully Brett comes home tonight and might only have to travel once more before we head to the States in 6 weeks. I'm SO excited!

**I'm having technical difficulties, so let me know if you cannot view the videos.

***Harrison got the worst haircut of his life last week, and unfortunately it's making its debut on these videos as well.