3 years ago today

Was the day we lost Kevin, my sweet brother. I cannot believe that 3 years have passed since the day I heard of his death. As I was washing dishes last night I couldn't see through my own tears as I was remembering the call informing me of the huge loss of his life. I truly crumbled. I will never forget the grief that followed and that still washes over me today. The loss of his life is and was so big because he was so lovable and loving...one of the most tremendous people I have ever known.

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But, unfortunately, as many good and fun times that were had, there were an equal amount of sad and scary times on Kevin's behalf. Sadly, his life ended way too soon at the age of 23 as he lost a long battle with addiction while traveling in Laos. I still cannot believe he is gone. I think of him daily and miss him with each thought, and I cling to many memories...some of which I thought I would share.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1992 I met the cutest little boy and girl you ever did see. We went and saw Aladdin together at Akers Mill Theater. Little did I know that less than a year later they would become family. Shortly on, we were vacationing together and soon I was driving and it was my job to pick Kevin up from his Woodward bus stop at Gorin's almost daily. Fast forward through several years and we were road-tripping (just the 2 of us) to Virginia Tech to visit my brother and his future wife. Kev was always sending me funny hats for gifts because he knew I would wear them. Somewhere along the way, we became great friends. He could tell a story like no one I have ever known, and could imitate a character in almost every movie known to man. He had a bottomless pit for a stomach, and an insatiable appetite for pro-football. And he ALWAYS kept me laughing, and he stuck up for me during some really tough times. He became a true brother to me, Robin, and Chris.

He stood in all of our weddings, and gave the most eloquent toasts at each one. I watched him catch the garter at my sister's wedding (after he lunged for it), and I watched him stand as Best Man in my brother's wedding (pictured below). They were truly the best of friends from the beginning. I loved that my brother had a brother.

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I watched him fall in love himself with sweet Ashley (the blonde pictured above), and I watched him start a life on his own out west. The greatest gift he ever got me was just a t-shirt, and it was so precious to me because it was the first thing he ever bought for me with his own hard-earned money.

And then he travelled the world...specifically Asia, and here I am now, watching another year pass since we lost him. I am in the same country he was in the last time he emailed me. I am pregnant as I was when I learned of his death. It's all too familiar this time around and it's hard. I so wish he had made it home to meet Harrison and to meet his future nieces and nephews. I so wish that the last time I had hugged him, that I never would have let him go. I so wish for just a few more minutes with him that I will never get on this Earth.

But, I'm thankful. As hard as it is to have lost a family member at such a young age, I would not trade a minute of it if it meant missing knowing Kevin for those 15+ years. At his funeral so much of our time was spent laughing as we remembered his life. He loved so well and was so secure in other's love for him. I am sad that he will just be a name and memory to my children and that they will never have the joy of knowing him, but I am grateful that the tragic story of his death can be one that will teach them that none of us are invincible.

Shortly after his death, someone said that Kevin made the world so bright and now it's just not the same color anymore. 'Tis true. He added a vibrance to life that left us feeling not as bright after his loss, but thankfully he is shining brighter now than he ever did on this Earth as he is healed and whole now. He had a genuine faith that was as real as his struggles, and his faith is now his sight. If it weren't for this hope, the grief would be too much to bear, and for that I'm so grateful.

Thank you, Lord, for both the joy and pain that were Kevin's life and death. Thank you for making him my brother. I am so glad that I knew him for every second that I did.

Kev, I love you buddy, and I miss you everyday. See you soon.

Love,

Sissy