Tales from the Toilet...April, 2011

Oh, wait, you think I forgot?! Well, here is a post that I wrote from April 17th of last year...REALLY? I never finished it, because the potty training kept on going and going and going....but, I do have an update that I hope to post soon. There is so much more to the story than a little munchkin who was scared of the potty...but, below are some of my thoughts almost a year ago. It has been a long year, but moreso because our little man has done some damage to his colon....so, those of you out there who have not yet trespassed into potty training, please know that your time, however awful it may be, will be much easier than mine.

Enjoy my unfinished post of tales from the crypt...er, I mean toilet...


I know you all have been on the edge of your seat waiting on the update of the Potty Saga that has waged war here in Dooleytown. Oh, I've thought about checking in and letting y'all know how things were going, but I didn't quite know what to say as it has been honestly the most miserable experience of motherhood so far for me. But, thankfully the potty fairy heard of my plight and had pity on my poor potty training soul...but, more on that in a minute.

Back up to 8 weeks ago...Yes, 8 weeks ago when I started this process. If you'll recall, I was using a method called 3 Day Potty Training, and I truly would/do recommend it, but I just did so many things wrong, like...

• Starting to potty train my child while he had a fever...Strike 1

• Attempting Potty Training after the trainee had endured months of enemas. I should have gotten to the bottom of the pooping predicament first.

• Should have started the training a lot earlier, or a lot later...I'm still not sure which.

And these are just a few of the mistakes I made. The first 2 weeks Brett was out of town and I was keeping another toddler as well....although fun, not smart for a tired pregnant potty trainer (aka: "Harrison's worst nightmare")

After day 3 or 4, I realized we had a power struggle on our hands and I actually signed up for a "potty mentor"....Please laugh, because I still get a chuckle out of this myself. However, this sweet lady would ALWAYS email me back within 24 hours or less. About a month in, I told her I was ready to throw in the towel. She told me that mother knows best and that if I needed a break that was fine, but for whatever reason, I decided to keep going. During those first 4 weeks once my sweet neighborhood friends saw that I was not having success, they all encouraged me to stop and go back to diapers. In my heart I really thought this would confuse H as he has had so many bathroom woes these past 9 months. So, I stubbornly kept up the fight.

And it really was a fight....It's hard to accurately put into words on this blog, and honestly, I probably didn't write much about it because I was so discouraged. I have mentioned it is the hardest thing I've endured in motherhood so far (well, it rivals an almost-fatal ruptured appendix and having to be away from my new baby for a week). But, also, I really questioned myself as a mother...now, you veteran moms out there are chuckling thinking, "gosh, it wasn't that bad." OR, "PREACH it sista, it was so impossible!", while you trainers-to-be are either dreading it or thinking it may not be so bad. Well, for you, I really don't think it will be. I don't think it's fun for anyone, but for some odd reason, my sweet little man turned into a monster, which really was hard on me.

He got to the point where he would only pee once a day because he a) did not want to pee in his pants and b) did not want to pee in the toilet. It was really a vicious cycle. If I tried to carry him to the bathroom I would get hit, kicked, etc...not to mention, he's really heavy!

About a month in, when I was ready to give up, we also took him to the doctor re: his constipation issues. We got the same advice: enemas every 3 days. I just thought isn't there something else I can do? Well, in the meantime, my sweet friend Melinda recommended Miralax and you bet I got my sister to send me some ASAP. It truly is a miracle. I wish I had known about it in September. Pooping issues solved, but fear of potty is ingrained.

So, why didn't you go back to diapers, Lauren? I thought you might ask this question, Reader. Well, I tried. But, I couldn't get the diaper on the little devil, and I do mean devil. I tried pull-ups, but he wanted his undies on! He knew too much and there was no going back even if I tried. Lots of tears came when I saw him holding his pee desperately. He was in so much pain and it was so, so hard on me. We were literally praying all the time that God would remove his fear. I really just started hoping he would be potty trained by age 4!

He finally would start peeing on the floor if I could get his pants down, and only once a day was not a big deal as far as clean up goes. I really started praying for accidents. Who does that? What crazy mom actually WANTS their child to pee in their pants more than once a day. Me...

But, then 7 weeks in, when we were out at the countryside, and I could tell he needed to go, and I didn't want him to pee all over our friend's car on the way back, I took him outside (because there was NO bathroom) pulled down his pants and he went!!!

But then I created a peeing outside monster! (which, honestly, is okay here in China)...