Seasons

A little over a week ago, a group of ladies from a church in Denver came to host a mini-women's retreat here in my city. Oh, how I loved it! I loved seeing people fresh from America, looking at their cute outfits and their enthusiasm for spending a short week overseas giving their time to the Lord. They were a precious bunch of 7 ladies spanning all life stages. They gave a few short sessions of talks to some of us who live here with the topic being "Seasons". I drank it up and wanted to share a few notes...

First off, they started with telling us that you can be any age to go through these seasons...it is not like a season of singleness or empty nesting, which are, of course, in themselves, seasons that pass quickly, but these are more seasons that relate to time of year and you can experience them at age 15 or age 85, whether single, young mom, or divorced grandmother.

Again, the seasons correlate with the seasons of the year. I loved the illustrations, and wanted to share and hope that, if you read this blog, that maybe it would help you look at what season you may be in right now or what seasons you have walked through in the past....

Warning: This will get really long!

SPRING::

• Season of peace and tranquility
• Season of routine responsibility--being in a rut
• Season of spiritual growth and planting
• Season of growing intimacy with God

Above are the characteristics of Springtime...Spring can feel like summer in the light and winter in the shade. It's a special time that God has set aside for us (as moms) to love and nurture our children that we will never get back, so take the time to grow deep roots in Spring so you can fall back on that foundation in hard times. Spring can look really routine and almost boring...you do the same thing a lot (which can happen with young, stay-at-home moms), but it's not overly good or bad, just very smooth. Again, it's a time we are not so distracted so we can spend time with the Lord to prepare for a busier season such as...

SUMMER::

• Season of opportunities
• Season of increased responsibilities
• Season of spiritual fruitfulness
• Season of busyness

Summer is when things heat up! Life gets busy, and busyness is what it is, embrace it, it won't last long. During Summer it's still SO important to spend time with God even when it's hard...it's essential. In busyness it's easy to focus on circumstances and situations instead of God's character.

The speaker reminded us of (if you read the Bible, you know this story well) the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. I am kind of a minority in that I'm more of a Mary...I'm not so much a do-er. Oh, I LOVE to do things that are fun, but not really things that are not fun, like clean my house...ha! Well, she reminded us that Jesus did not condemn Martha for her busyness, He just asked her to enjoy Him. It's not bad to be busy, it's just how we handle it.

Some things to guard during your busy season: your priorities, your motives, and your pride.

AUTUMN::

• Season of change
• Season of uneasiness/insecurity/uncertainty
• Season of new or unexpected challenges
• Season of temptation

Sometimes change is planned or unplanned, sometimes it doesn't go as planned, but the tighter we hold onto our expectations, the harder change will be. God is right in the middle of it, He is so not surprised by the big move, the extra baby, the pay cut, the adoption, or the divorce. When we are unsure, we are lacking confidence...why? because we are focusing on change instead of God. It can be a season of temptation to retreat from all the changes, to not face reality, to be tempted to panic and respond in your own strength. How do I be willing to be IN the change and let God harvest me??

God will reveal a diamond in a season of change when you come face-to-face with Him.

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." --Corrie ten Boom

WINTER::

• Season of sorrow or grief
• Season of loneliness or isolation
• Season of letting go
• Season of brokenness

Winter is only a season...it doesn't last forever. In these hard times, choose God, stop self-pity, choose happiness, choose to renew your marriage. This sweet 79 year old widow who gave this portion of the talk shared of a wintertime in her life and said at one point she chose to make her husband laugh everyday...pure sweetness!

Trees look ugly in the winter. Winter preserves the strength of the tree (I think the sap goes down to the roots at this time to strengthen them??)...the tree can't find beauty again until it surrenders to the winter. There is a blessedness in Winter...and Spring is coming!

Pain hurts, but be real with God (and others). He can take it.

Renew relationships that have gone cold because we can hurt those we love during our winters.

Joy is predecated upon surrender.

There is so much more that these precious ladies shared from their lives that added so much more than just these few measly notes! I have definitely walked through all of these times in recent years for sure. This time in a different country has been a mixture of Autumn and Winter for me. There was so much change, only to find this be one of the loneliest seasons I've had in a long, long time. See, I was not one of those lonely new moms. I loved it because everyone was always coming over and I could easily tote the babe around with me to lunches and shopping. My loneliness as a young mom has really set in here on the other side of the world. I can't pick up the phone to call my best friends while I'm in the car, because a)I don't have a car, and b) all my friends are asleep when I want to call them. It has been a time of loss and sacrifice of giving up a home and routine (and weather) that I adored for a tiny apartment up lots of stairs with lots of dreary days, and while I'm really enjoying the girlfriends I'm making, it's hard to make couple friends with other people who have extremely busy lives. I would do it all over again...it's worth it...the pain, the tears, the lonely days, the feeling unknown and misunderstood. I know it will go by too quickly, and the memories I'm making are so fond, I can hardly describe them, but they have come at a cost. Doesn't everything?

And change is coming again! A whirlwind summer in the states along with a new baby. I am so excited, but a little hesitant. Will I be so weird now that I have lived overseas again for awhile? Will I be in touch with the culture? Will my dear friends have forgotten about me since I have been so out of sight and out of mind? Change has definitely defined the past year of our lives and will for the next coming year or two. I remember busy "summertimes" of traveling the world with my man and loving it! I remember the "springtime" of Harrison being born and lots of monotony but loving the routine...it was a nice break from busy. I think of lots of prior winters and falls with deep loss and massive change. But, again, I think that right now I am in a mix of those 2 latter seasons.

I fear this may have sounded preachy and that was not my intent. I am by no means an expert on the subject, but just loved the content matter so much that I wanted to share, mainly so that I could read back and remember it. I hope if you have read this far that part of what these ladies taught me could somewhat touch your heart and that God would meet you in whatever season you're in right now.

He's good like that.

The Progression

Of the little baby as evidenced by the growth of my middle section...

Above: 6 weeks...This is the view out of our living room window. I love it!

10 weeks. In front of our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree...Mental note: Wear make-up for next picture.

14 weeks. Obviously did not heed the mental note at 10 weeks.

18 weeks. The bump is in full effect!

20 weeks. Halfway there!

Tales from the Toilet...Week 1

Week 1...check.

This will be a long process for me and the little man.

You see, I was trying to potty train him in 3 days...although I knew with his issues that it might take longer, but it might take a really long time, seeing as he is still terrified of the toilet (although he has sat on it a couple of times)! We have had no success at all. I think what I have on my hands is a stubborn little man who is tugging hard on his end of this power struggle. He can hold his tinkle 'til the cows come home, and only lets himself have accidents if I'm not around. I think his fear is associated with the many enemas we have had to give him over the past 6 months...He says, "no tooshie medicine, peeeez!" He does stay dry all night and during most of his naps, though. What can I say, he's quite the boss of his bladder!

The first few days I was so, so discouraged. In tears. He was ready for this 9 months ago, but with all the transition that was upon us, I couldn't handle it. Now I'm kicking myself! This has definitely been my hardest experience in motherhood so far.

Somehow, over the last few days, I have been okay with his fear of the commode (and strangely enough, Brett is gone, which made me think I would be miserable by now). Some people have told me it took them a year to train their kids...a year? Really? Well, however long it takes, I don't own a single diaper, and don't plan to buy anymore until July, so hopefully we will get through this misery in a few weeks! If you pray, please pray for me in this!

But, seriously, how cute is he in that terribly ugly Diego underwear??

Potty Training, Day 2: Tales from the Toilet

5:30: Mommy wakes up hoping that the boy will not wake up in the 5 o' clock hour for the 5th time this week.

6:15: The boy wakes up...unfortunately Mom had not fallen back asleep. But, lucky for her, Dada had mercy on her tired soul and got up with the boy.

6:15-7:45: Mom dozes in and out. During her awake times she is terrified for her life that her son will take 3 months to learn how to go to the bathroom...How does she face the day?

7:45: Finally gets the courage to get up and face the music

8:45: Accident #1...this is actually encouraging to Mom since it's early in the morning. Takes boy to potty. He screams "I don't wanna go potty", thus confirming his fear of said object.

All morning: Encouragement and annoying questions to boy..."are your undies dry?" "Mommy's so proud of you....tell me when you have to go!"...every other minute. Boy not responding. Mommy talks about how fun the potty is. Boy not believing a word. Boy drinking more today...but Mom thinks he's pacing himself because he's smart and knows that drink=trying to go to the bathroom...the room he fears most at this point in time.

1pm: Boy asks and pleads for rest time as opposed to hearing Mother ask him if his underwear is dry one more time. Mama gladly concedes.

1:30: Dad shoos Mom out the door for some much needed time outside of the house.

3:30: Mom returns to find accident #2 occurring during nap time.

3:30-6:30: Grand old time is had by all

6:30: Mom and Dad suddenly take an evil turn and give Boy an enema. Misery at its finest. However, it was a good move on the part of the evil villains, and although Boy has yet to make it to toilet (yes, it was on a towel), he needed it.

7:00: Bath and TV time. All is right in the world.

7:30: Bed....and right before, Mom asks for the 100th time if his underwear is dry. For the first time, she hears "yes".

It's the small victories, people. This could take awhile.

Potty Training, Day 1

Potty: 0

Mom: 0

Sick kid: 1

Today was the dreaded first day of potty training in Dooley World. I'm not sure whether I'm encouraged or discouraged about it...Harrison only had 1 accident, and before we queue the hallelujah chorus, let me just say that he only had 1 accident because that was the only time he peed all day...He woke up with a fever at 5 am. Well, I had already given the majority of my diapers away, so I decided to stick with the plan, tired as we both may be. Well, he didn't want to drink much, or eat much so he didn't want to go...and when he did pee on the floor and I scooped him up to go to the bathroom, he screamed when he saw the toilet (even though we had many formal introductions up to this point...trust me, the toilet has been super talked up this week). I'm also a little discouraged because ever since we moved here for the past 6 months, as mentioned before, he has been terribly stopped up. I can't even count the number of times he has gone at least 8-9 days without doing the smelly deed, or the number of enemas he has received. He's also eating terribly which stops him up, which is my fault. I digress.

Anyhow, we made it through Day 1...this gig is only supposed to last 3 days (ish), but we shall see about that since we have a feverish, non-eating, non-drinking, constipated little boy on our hands. I did love snuggling with him on the couch as we watched movies all day, but snuggling while he holds his pee for 10 hours (how can he do that?) does not keep urine off of my sleeves.

Here's hopin' that he really does have the bladder control of champions.

Thailand

We recently spent almost 3 weeks in Thailand...oh, how we love this place! It's such a special place for me and Brett as it's where he first asked me to be his girlfriend in 2003, and in 2004 it's the place where he asked me to be his wife! Every other year we have a conference here for all the staff working in our country. This year it was in Bangkok, which is, in my opinion, a fabulous city, although extremely interesting. We spent about 10 days in Bangkok partly for our conference, partly to get caught up on doctor's appointments (the healthcare is great there). We really enjoyed our conference, and although I can't write much about it on this public blog for security reasons, I will say that one of my favorite things was how different it was from years ago. In 2003 and 2004, at these staff conferences, there were mostly Americans there. Americans who longed to see more East Asian staff raised up to serve here. That is why I wanted to be here. Now, 7 years later, this conference was made up of mostly East Asian staff with our company who love and serve their people no matter the cost. The meetings were mostly in Chinese and we sang more than half of our worship songs in Chinese. It brought so many tears to my eyes to get to see what I longed for and prayed for so many years ago come to fruition.

A downside was that we all got sick...it seems it might be a habit for us to get sick while out of town this year. I got plagued with a stomach bug that was being passed around childcare. Thankfully Harrison did not get it, but I got it bad. I could not even keep gatorade down! Brett got a mild form of the bug, but he got bronchitis as well, which he passed to H, which doubled into laryngitis for our poor little man...his voice was GONE....again, we were so thankful to have a wonderful doctor to take him to to put him on meds ASAP. We all got better to enjoy our vacation after the conference! Phew!

And while there, we got to check on the Dooley Babe...which was SO FUN. We got an ultrasound and it was probably the nicest one I've ever had. It was very extensive, and she asked "Do you want to know the sex of your baby?" I was only 15 weeks, 4 days, so I didn't even know if she could tell. However, we said "no", because we are crazy like that and don't want to know (we let ourselves be surprised with H and it was truly the best surprise of my life, although I know it's not for everyone). And not even 45 seconds later, she said (in a very singsong voice), "I just saaaaaaaw, I know what your baby iiiiissssss!" I grabbed Brett's wrist and was like, "do you wanna know? we could find out right this second!" However, my planner husband stuck to the plan and told me to stay strong, but it was SO tempting! That makes a lot of our friends here think it's a boy...thoughts??

So, here are just a very few pics of our time there. They don't really do the beach justice...It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been for sure!

Brett and his little twin chasing the birds...this was Harrison's favorite thing to do!

We found a local aquarium with a singing mermaid...she obviously did not want us to touch her! I was still recovering at this point so I look rough, but my belly is about 16 weeks in this pic.

Brett's little helper in the airport (I need to calculate how many airplanes H has been on for my records...I think it's close to 40 now...he's quite the little flyer).

We spent some time vacationing at the beach in Phuket...during that time we checked email a couple times at an internet cafe. We paid for H to use his own computer so he wouldn't be pressing all of our buttons...he loved it!

Paradise

One night a bunch of us got baby-sitters and celebrated this guy below. Nate and Lori are such a fun couple to be around and I am SO glad to live near them and get to know them. This night was his birthday and we all went to a cocktail party on the beach and had a great dinner.

Then we lit traditional Thai lanterns and flew them off into the sky. I think this is actually a Buddhist New Year's tradition and they wish away their sins with each lantern in hopes of a fresh start in the new year (I think). I would probably need to light one every 5 minutes in that case!

H loved feeding the fishies (or foo-eys, as he likes to call them).

We entered a sand-building contest. And although there were only 8 families competing and 5 prizes given out, our not-so-stellar crab did not place. I can't imagine why...and just between you and me, the man in the middle was a bit bummed about it.

And here we are all bundled up for the flight back to COLD China just in time for Chinese New Year. There have been fireworks every night for 2 weeks! It's nuts!

More soon!

Here goes...

I've been a terrible blogger lately! I have been horrible about documenting our glamorous life in East Asia, and even worse about posting pictures! I keep waiting for a better time to write or when I know the internet will be fast and I can post pictures, but alas, the time just never comes....and then when I meet up with my friend Blog again, I often don't know what to say!

However, I don't want 2011 to pass me by before I recap some Dooley highlights (and lowlights) of 2010. So, now with both boys asleep, after just taking a (very) brisk walk to Starbucks, I have my decaf Caramel Macchiato in hand, and I'm ready to start fresh (only 2 weeks late) and post (without pictures), some of the memories from this past year that will be forever etched in our minds. So, without further adieu, 2010 in review...

January:: Brett saw Auburn play in the Outback bowl...I'm sure he would have much rather been at this year's game, but maybe next time! We had a sibling weekend visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Cary, NC...We loved staying in their beautiful new house along with my sister and brother-in-law. I would say we loved seeing their life there, but we didn't, because we were snowed in the entire time! It was Harrison's first snow and couldn't have been a more perfect weekend!

February:: We found out we were pregnant, but we lost the baby in the same month, the day before I started to miscarry, we filed our first police report...for our stolen Bugaboo stroller. Not a stellar month, but we DID have a fun mini-super bowl party!

March:: A visit from Nana, Braves Spring Training games (Harrison's 1st, and he and Mommy even got on the jumbotron!), Harrison's first Easter egg hunt, my sweet Grandma Dorothy Fierer passed away at 98 years old.

April:: We hosted Brett's parents for Easter! It was my first time hosting a holiday at our home and I made my first ham! We had a sweet time together!

May:: We had a wonderful week at the beach, half to ourselves, half with our best friends, the Baileys. We took Harrison to Disney World for the first time (and Animal Kingdom), we celebrated Harrison's 2nd birthday (and my dad surprised me by showing up for his birthday party).

June:: We went to a Family Life Marriage Conference in Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area...loved it! Would highly recommend it! Another visit from Nana, Brett threw me a surprise early birthday party, I turned 30, we went to London for 2 weeks as a family to lead two teams ministering to Muslims there. It was a really sweet time for us!

July:: We returned from London, and I whisked myself off to Oxford, Mississippi for my annual "roommate reunion" with best friends from college Adele, Elizabeth, and Blair. We had a fabulous time, and thanks to monsoon-like rains, I got to spend an extra night in Memphis with other college BF and former China roommate, Bethany! We packed up our Orlando life, sold things, sold one of our cars, put our life in a POD, had lots of going away parties, cried lots of tears, packed our bags and went to Atlanta...

August:: Still more going away parties and many goodbyes to friends and families. More tears. 2 weeks there before we boarded a plane to our new locale....Excitement!

September:: Moved into our new apartment, celebrated our 6th anniversary, gave our child his 1st (out of like, 15, enemas), extremely difficult transition.

October:: Lots of traveling! Brett took a seminary class in a nearby city, KM. He also went to meetings in Xi'An. I travelled to the capital city for a mom's conference, and we travelled to a local mountain town for a team retreat with our team of 8 people. At the end of this month, we start to feel things turning a corner relationally, but still having a hard time at times. We celebrated Halloween and H went trick or treating for the first time! Found out we were PREGNANT....can't believe it!

November:: Had our first house guests, Brett's best Chinese friend (Tommy) from years ago came to stay with us for 2 nights. Also, we had 2 fun guys come and stay with us for a weekend full of parties for our staff. Thanksgiving was a very difficult morning, but we really enjoyed our afternoon!

December:: Went to Hong Kong on a visa trip and got soooo sick! Saw our baby's heartbeat for the first time (and I definitely have hilarious stories from my first 2 doctors appointments), lots of Christmas parties, a fun and sweet Christmas (our first completely by ourselves since we have been married).

I'm sure I missed a whole bunch of things, but those are a few that come to mind from our 2010. Brett and I are in the habit of naming our years, something we started back in 2007. We had named 2010 as the year of faith and trust. Well, I'm just not really sure I would have named it that if I had known all we would have to trust God for, but it sure was a year that we had to trust and have faith. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the things lost and gained in this year. But, like every year, there were so many wonderful times mixed along with the painful ones...This Fall has been so hard for us, transitioning to a place that we love under totally new circumstances, but I'm so glad we are here. It has been so great for our family.

And I have coined 2011 as the year of Growth. Not sure I'll like how this one ends either, but it seemed obvious as our family will literally grow...I am finally coming to grips with the fact that I'm pregnant (only 15 weeks in!) I'm thrilled, and I know it will be hard to add to our family and then continue living in a foreign country, but after waiting nearly a year and a half, I'm ready! I hope my heart will grow in other ways, and that I will grow as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I have no resolutions, but I do hope that this coming December I can look back and see obvious growth in myself and in my family (other than the obvious growth in my belly).

Happy (Late) New Year! Auld Lang Syne!