25 weeks

24 weeks

(do not let this picture deceive you...my belly may not look big, because I am the pregnant type that gains weight ALL OVER)

Dear Baby,

Tuesday marked 25 weeks pregnant with you, precious munchkin! I want to say how I can't believe how much time is flying by, which it is, but, at times it certainly seems so slow!

I will have to write another post on some of the happenings throughout your time in my womb, but for now I will just write of the past couple weeks.

Dooley Babe, I am so excited about you! I just cannot imagine who you will be and what you will look like and how much I will adore you. It's hard to believe that I will love anyone the same as I love your big brother, but I know I will. You are precious to me!

About 2 weeks ago I went to have the 'big' ultrasound for you. Little one, let me just tell you, I have stories for you about your prenatal care! I am seeing a doctor named Dr. Yang, and he is just fabulous. His English is impeccable and I am grateful to have great care here. But, child, this is the most forgetful man I have ever met on this planet.

First off, I have his personal cell phone number. I don't make an appointment a month in advance...I call the day before and he says, 'come on in'. EVERY time I see him (which has been about 4 times now), he says to me, "What are you in for today?" I think, "Ummm, I just called you yesterday." I tell him (this time) I'm here for the ultrasound. He says, "Did you have an appointment?" Ummmm, yes! "And what is your name?" "Do I have your file or do you?" I am not kidding, this doc thinks he is meeting me for the first time every time.

Well, he measures me and we hear your sweet little heartbeat (of 130 beats per minute) and he asks me if I have dreamed about what you might be...I say no, to which he replies, "a mother just knows. I think you will have the dream about the baby." I have also told him about 58 times that we do not want to find out what gender you are. At this, he looks at me as if I have 2 heads. You see, pumpkin, here in this country, expecting mothers are not allowed to find out the sex of their baby because the abortion rate is so high. To my understanding the abortion rate is high because there is a one child policy (for most people). Most of these families want that one child to be a boy. Here the children grow up to take care of their parents as in the parents live with them and the parents get a portion of each paycheck, and the parents actually raise the grandchild while the parent works. That reason, along with carrying on the family name are among why most want a boy. A lot of people, if they know they are having a girl, will abort or give her to an orphanage. Thus, the law of not being able to find out gender. However, since I am an American, I am allowed to find out and he thinks I am nuts by choosing the other way (as do many of our friends and family!)

So, onto your ultrasound...it was so fun to see you! You were being a little shy with your hands over your face...well, that was no problem for the nurse...she just shook my belly profusely to try and get you to move. You didn't budge. She shook and shook. The doctor finally says to me, "your baby is very shy....you must go take a walk to make it unshy." Giggling a little to myself, I walk around. I was told to do this for 10-15 minutes, but they kept taking other patients and 45 minutes later, I go back. Guess what? Your hands are still in front of your face....there is more shaking of the belly, and finally we see that precious face! You have the same chin and feet as your brother, but a little bit more of a defined nose. Daddy and I both felt like we were looking at another boy, but I guess we will find out this summer.

You were 659 grams (1.5 pounds) and 24-26 centimeters in length (which is about 10 inches,not including your legs). The Doc said your legs were very long because your dad and I were so tall. I am glad he noticed that we are tall. He actually thinks we are huge compared to his peeps, and he is not shy about telling me how much bigger I am than the average Chinese person.

Before we left, I asked Dr. Yang, "Were you able to see what our baby was"? He looked at me with a very grim and straight face and said, "Yes, but if you want to know, we will have to do the ultrasound again, because I WILL forget."

I told you he was forgetful.

And now I am 25 weeks and cannot believe you will soon be here. You have been a child that we have longed for and we pray for you daily. We will deliver you in Atlanta, but I have no doctor there, so we will have to figure that out pretty soon as well as where we will stay while we live there this summer. I am so excited about the summer and meeting you and eating all my favorite foods and taking your big brother to the park, blue skies, fountain drinks and so much more! It will be a sweet time, with the sweetest memory being you!!!

I love you,

Mommy

Never have I ever...

Loved my blog so much!!

A long time ago I met Rachel very briefly, and had no idea that years later I would come across her blog and that it would minister to my soul so much. As time went by, I saw more and more of her talent in blog design as well as Christmas cards and birth announcements, etc. I think we have several mutual friends, so I have gotten to be on the receiving end of lots of these fun, cute cards.

Well, I needed help BIG TIME making my blog look cute. I could not do it on my own no matter how hard I tried, so Rachel did it for me! It took no time at all once we started communicating about it. I literally just told her a few colors and patterns that I like and voila! She did the rest! She does not even know me, yet she picked exactly what I would have picked. I could not love it any more!

So, please check out her amazing talent here if you are as creatively defunct as me! And check out her personal blog as well...you will see an amazing story of God's provision of a beautiful family!!

Thanks, Rachel! I am so thrilled!

Seasons

A little over a week ago, a group of ladies from a church in Denver came to host a mini-women's retreat here in my city. Oh, how I loved it! I loved seeing people fresh from America, looking at their cute outfits and their enthusiasm for spending a short week overseas giving their time to the Lord. They were a precious bunch of 7 ladies spanning all life stages. They gave a few short sessions of talks to some of us who live here with the topic being "Seasons". I drank it up and wanted to share a few notes...

First off, they started with telling us that you can be any age to go through these seasons...it is not like a season of singleness or empty nesting, which are, of course, in themselves, seasons that pass quickly, but these are more seasons that relate to time of year and you can experience them at age 15 or age 85, whether single, young mom, or divorced grandmother.

Again, the seasons correlate with the seasons of the year. I loved the illustrations, and wanted to share and hope that, if you read this blog, that maybe it would help you look at what season you may be in right now or what seasons you have walked through in the past....

Warning: This will get really long!

SPRING::

• Season of peace and tranquility
• Season of routine responsibility--being in a rut
• Season of spiritual growth and planting
• Season of growing intimacy with God

Above are the characteristics of Springtime...Spring can feel like summer in the light and winter in the shade. It's a special time that God has set aside for us (as moms) to love and nurture our children that we will never get back, so take the time to grow deep roots in Spring so you can fall back on that foundation in hard times. Spring can look really routine and almost boring...you do the same thing a lot (which can happen with young, stay-at-home moms), but it's not overly good or bad, just very smooth. Again, it's a time we are not so distracted so we can spend time with the Lord to prepare for a busier season such as...

SUMMER::

• Season of opportunities
• Season of increased responsibilities
• Season of spiritual fruitfulness
• Season of busyness

Summer is when things heat up! Life gets busy, and busyness is what it is, embrace it, it won't last long. During Summer it's still SO important to spend time with God even when it's hard...it's essential. In busyness it's easy to focus on circumstances and situations instead of God's character.

The speaker reminded us of (if you read the Bible, you know this story well) the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. I am kind of a minority in that I'm more of a Mary...I'm not so much a do-er. Oh, I LOVE to do things that are fun, but not really things that are not fun, like clean my house...ha! Well, she reminded us that Jesus did not condemn Martha for her busyness, He just asked her to enjoy Him. It's not bad to be busy, it's just how we handle it.

Some things to guard during your busy season: your priorities, your motives, and your pride.

AUTUMN::

• Season of change
• Season of uneasiness/insecurity/uncertainty
• Season of new or unexpected challenges
• Season of temptation

Sometimes change is planned or unplanned, sometimes it doesn't go as planned, but the tighter we hold onto our expectations, the harder change will be. God is right in the middle of it, He is so not surprised by the big move, the extra baby, the pay cut, the adoption, or the divorce. When we are unsure, we are lacking confidence...why? because we are focusing on change instead of God. It can be a season of temptation to retreat from all the changes, to not face reality, to be tempted to panic and respond in your own strength. How do I be willing to be IN the change and let God harvest me??

God will reveal a diamond in a season of change when you come face-to-face with Him.

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." --Corrie ten Boom

WINTER::

• Season of sorrow or grief
• Season of loneliness or isolation
• Season of letting go
• Season of brokenness

Winter is only a season...it doesn't last forever. In these hard times, choose God, stop self-pity, choose happiness, choose to renew your marriage. This sweet 79 year old widow who gave this portion of the talk shared of a wintertime in her life and said at one point she chose to make her husband laugh everyday...pure sweetness!

Trees look ugly in the winter. Winter preserves the strength of the tree (I think the sap goes down to the roots at this time to strengthen them??)...the tree can't find beauty again until it surrenders to the winter. There is a blessedness in Winter...and Spring is coming!

Pain hurts, but be real with God (and others). He can take it.

Renew relationships that have gone cold because we can hurt those we love during our winters.

Joy is predecated upon surrender.

There is so much more that these precious ladies shared from their lives that added so much more than just these few measly notes! I have definitely walked through all of these times in recent years for sure. This time in a different country has been a mixture of Autumn and Winter for me. There was so much change, only to find this be one of the loneliest seasons I've had in a long, long time. See, I was not one of those lonely new moms. I loved it because everyone was always coming over and I could easily tote the babe around with me to lunches and shopping. My loneliness as a young mom has really set in here on the other side of the world. I can't pick up the phone to call my best friends while I'm in the car, because a)I don't have a car, and b) all my friends are asleep when I want to call them. It has been a time of loss and sacrifice of giving up a home and routine (and weather) that I adored for a tiny apartment up lots of stairs with lots of dreary days, and while I'm really enjoying the girlfriends I'm making, it's hard to make couple friends with other people who have extremely busy lives. I would do it all over again...it's worth it...the pain, the tears, the lonely days, the feeling unknown and misunderstood. I know it will go by too quickly, and the memories I'm making are so fond, I can hardly describe them, but they have come at a cost. Doesn't everything?

And change is coming again! A whirlwind summer in the states along with a new baby. I am so excited, but a little hesitant. Will I be so weird now that I have lived overseas again for awhile? Will I be in touch with the culture? Will my dear friends have forgotten about me since I have been so out of sight and out of mind? Change has definitely defined the past year of our lives and will for the next coming year or two. I remember busy "summertimes" of traveling the world with my man and loving it! I remember the "springtime" of Harrison being born and lots of monotony but loving the routine...it was a nice break from busy. I think of lots of prior winters and falls with deep loss and massive change. But, again, I think that right now I am in a mix of those 2 latter seasons.

I fear this may have sounded preachy and that was not my intent. I am by no means an expert on the subject, but just loved the content matter so much that I wanted to share, mainly so that I could read back and remember it. I hope if you have read this far that part of what these ladies taught me could somewhat touch your heart and that God would meet you in whatever season you're in right now.

He's good like that.

The Progression

Of the little baby as evidenced by the growth of my middle section...

Above: 6 weeks...This is the view out of our living room window. I love it!

10 weeks. In front of our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree...Mental note: Wear make-up for next picture.

14 weeks. Obviously did not heed the mental note at 10 weeks.

18 weeks. The bump is in full effect!

20 weeks. Halfway there!

Tales from the Toilet...Week 1

Week 1...check.

This will be a long process for me and the little man.

You see, I was trying to potty train him in 3 days...although I knew with his issues that it might take longer, but it might take a really long time, seeing as he is still terrified of the toilet (although he has sat on it a couple of times)! We have had no success at all. I think what I have on my hands is a stubborn little man who is tugging hard on his end of this power struggle. He can hold his tinkle 'til the cows come home, and only lets himself have accidents if I'm not around. I think his fear is associated with the many enemas we have had to give him over the past 6 months...He says, "no tooshie medicine, peeeez!" He does stay dry all night and during most of his naps, though. What can I say, he's quite the boss of his bladder!

The first few days I was so, so discouraged. In tears. He was ready for this 9 months ago, but with all the transition that was upon us, I couldn't handle it. Now I'm kicking myself! This has definitely been my hardest experience in motherhood so far.

Somehow, over the last few days, I have been okay with his fear of the commode (and strangely enough, Brett is gone, which made me think I would be miserable by now). Some people have told me it took them a year to train their kids...a year? Really? Well, however long it takes, I don't own a single diaper, and don't plan to buy anymore until July, so hopefully we will get through this misery in a few weeks! If you pray, please pray for me in this!

But, seriously, how cute is he in that terribly ugly Diego underwear??

Potty Training, Day 2: Tales from the Toilet

5:30: Mommy wakes up hoping that the boy will not wake up in the 5 o' clock hour for the 5th time this week.

6:15: The boy wakes up...unfortunately Mom had not fallen back asleep. But, lucky for her, Dada had mercy on her tired soul and got up with the boy.

6:15-7:45: Mom dozes in and out. During her awake times she is terrified for her life that her son will take 3 months to learn how to go to the bathroom...How does she face the day?

7:45: Finally gets the courage to get up and face the music

8:45: Accident #1...this is actually encouraging to Mom since it's early in the morning. Takes boy to potty. He screams "I don't wanna go potty", thus confirming his fear of said object.

All morning: Encouragement and annoying questions to boy..."are your undies dry?" "Mommy's so proud of you....tell me when you have to go!"...every other minute. Boy not responding. Mommy talks about how fun the potty is. Boy not believing a word. Boy drinking more today...but Mom thinks he's pacing himself because he's smart and knows that drink=trying to go to the bathroom...the room he fears most at this point in time.

1pm: Boy asks and pleads for rest time as opposed to hearing Mother ask him if his underwear is dry one more time. Mama gladly concedes.

1:30: Dad shoos Mom out the door for some much needed time outside of the house.

3:30: Mom returns to find accident #2 occurring during nap time.

3:30-6:30: Grand old time is had by all

6:30: Mom and Dad suddenly take an evil turn and give Boy an enema. Misery at its finest. However, it was a good move on the part of the evil villains, and although Boy has yet to make it to toilet (yes, it was on a towel), he needed it.

7:00: Bath and TV time. All is right in the world.

7:30: Bed....and right before, Mom asks for the 100th time if his underwear is dry. For the first time, she hears "yes".

It's the small victories, people. This could take awhile.

Potty Training, Day 1

Potty: 0

Mom: 0

Sick kid: 1

Today was the dreaded first day of potty training in Dooley World. I'm not sure whether I'm encouraged or discouraged about it...Harrison only had 1 accident, and before we queue the hallelujah chorus, let me just say that he only had 1 accident because that was the only time he peed all day...He woke up with a fever at 5 am. Well, I had already given the majority of my diapers away, so I decided to stick with the plan, tired as we both may be. Well, he didn't want to drink much, or eat much so he didn't want to go...and when he did pee on the floor and I scooped him up to go to the bathroom, he screamed when he saw the toilet (even though we had many formal introductions up to this point...trust me, the toilet has been super talked up this week). I'm also a little discouraged because ever since we moved here for the past 6 months, as mentioned before, he has been terribly stopped up. I can't even count the number of times he has gone at least 8-9 days without doing the smelly deed, or the number of enemas he has received. He's also eating terribly which stops him up, which is my fault. I digress.

Anyhow, we made it through Day 1...this gig is only supposed to last 3 days (ish), but we shall see about that since we have a feverish, non-eating, non-drinking, constipated little boy on our hands. I did love snuggling with him on the couch as we watched movies all day, but snuggling while he holds his pee for 10 hours (how can he do that?) does not keep urine off of my sleeves.

Here's hopin' that he really does have the bladder control of champions.