Today I met Hope

Today.

Today was a really hard day for me.

Today was my due date with a special little one that now lays in Jesus' arms instead of mine.

One sweet little bug that was growing in my tube instead of the right place in my belly.

And my arms are still empty.

And so is my womb.

And I'm sad.

I stumbled through the day.  Exhausted, as my husband is out of town.  I thought about canceling my commitments today and farming out my kids so that I can just be alone with my grief...grief of the little one that we won't get to know on this side of Heaven, and grief of life, once again, looking different than what I would have hoped.

But, I didn't cancel.

I celebrated a dear friend's birthday.

I met with another new friend who is investing her time and talent in me and my story.

I met with a mentor who has been more life-giving to me this year than I could express in words.

And in the middle of it all, I ran into a sweet friend, and as I was visiting with her, another sweet friend's husband walked up.  He introduced me to his mom.

She was a dear, petite little thing.  With piercing bright eyes, and a smile that exuded joy.

I shook her hand.  We spoke.  She asked me which kids were mine.

And as I turned to chase my daughter, she said...

"Oh, and by the way, my name is Hope."

I stopped in my tracks.  Of course her name would be Hope.  On this day, of course, Jesus would give me a tangible reminder of HOPE.

Then she said, "But, you can call me Mamie." with a smile.

But, if I see her again, I will call her Hope.

And then I cried all the way home.

And I hugged my kids.

And I was reminded to not give up hope.

So, I won't.