Kevin

Today marks 2 years since I lost my dear brother. Oh, it's such a good thing this blog was not alive at the time, because there would have been a post on him every. single. day. Some of you readers walked through this unimaginable loss with me. Thank you, and thanks for continuing to walk with me as I still grieve.

Kevin was actually my stepbrother...we weren't related by blood, just brought together by my dad marrying his mom, but I met Kev and sweet Hayward (my stepsister) when they were a very young 7 and 8. We grew up together, and if you asked any of the 5 of us kids, the term "stepsibling" was just semantics. I never heard Kevin refer to me as his stepsister.

We lost him way too soon at the young age of 23 on this day 2 years ago as he was in the midst of traveling overseas. Kev had battled addictions for a long, long time and in the end, the addictions won. It was, and still is a tragic loss. One that is very fresh today as I think back to the dreaded phone call I received while very pregnant, on my way to a church picnic, eager for my husband to return home from North Africa.

And although I miss him all the time and not a day goes by where I don't think about him, I am so thankful that he is with Jesus, and he is healed and he is whole. I know that his faith was as real as his struggles, but his faith is now his sight. I just wish so much for just a few more minutes with him. And I wish so much for him to get to meet his little nephew who came just a short month after he died. I have no doubt that Kev would have been one of Harrison's favorite people in the entire world. Kevin loved kids so much!

I have a million memories of him, and I know I'm leaving out lots of details about both his life and his death....Truthfully, I could go on and on forever about him, and I'm sure I will in another post, but one thing I wanted to share about Kevin that he taught me was this: He received love so well, so much more than any other person I've known. Whenever we ended a conversation and I told him I loved him, he would always say, "I know." He rested in people's love for him, never questioning it. I so admired that quality in him, because it gave him such a greater capacity to love his friends and family. His heart was so big, loving and unforgettable, and I am so, so grateful to God for bringing us together as family.

The pictures below are hilariously small (I'm just not that savvy on the computer), but they show his handsome face and bright smile.

I love you, Kevin. I miss you every day, buddy.

Constantly...

What takes up most of your days?

Here's a few things I am constantly doing:

I'm constantly chasing, picking up leaves, waving at cars, playing with toy cars, throwing the ball, and constantly trying to coax my little man to come inside after hours of play.

I'm constantly trying to figure out new things for him to eat, but settle on the same thing, day in and day out, and on top of that, trying to make dinner fun even though it's constantly chicken!

I'm hearing a new word every single day! Lately, I've heard a lot of: Shide (outside), shocks (socks), shoes, SEE YOU, night night, mama, dada, nana, Gan (Gran), Ba (Pa and/or Pop), ball, peez (please--this is one of my favorites), juice, moo moo (milk), wa wa (water), SLIDE, and lots of names of little friends.

I'm also constantly kissing scraped knees, having tickle fights, getting a cookie for him EVERY day on our walk that conveniently passes Publix, watching cartoons on PBS, and snuggling after naptime.

I'm constantly crying at least once a week thinking, "I can't do this" as my sweet, good, mild, laid-back baby boy is turning into a toddler with a mind of his own. Let's just say discipline is not my strong point, but I'm learning.

And although that part is tough, I'm also constantly stealing every kiss I can, as he's getting more stingy with them...I'm more thankful for him than I have ever been, loving every moment and trying to will time to freeze so that I can have some of these moments with my little guy forever.

I'm loving watching him love his Daddy and wrestle and have "laugh wars" with him every night. Loving watching his little tender heart grow and his personality bud. I'm loving watching his memory grow large enough to remember certain people and places.

We are constantly taking walks, going to story time, going to the playground, taking peeks at him while he's asleep before we go to bed.

I'm constantly NOT getting tons of other things done, like, perhaps packing for an overseas move...yikes, but we are constantly getting rid of stuff and trying to condense our things.

Laundry, dishes, diapers, lots of phone calls to friends in other cities whom I miss more than

ever before... Yep, these are just a few things that take up my days with my almost-2-year-old.

And some days it's easy, and some days it's hard...and I'm loving every minute.

Eggs

We went to a huge Easter egg hunt this morning at our office and it was a blast, complete with bounce houses, a magic show and a tattoo parlor. Yep, our little man is inked...but, it didn't hurt a bit! I wanted to share some videos of the eggstravaganza...The first video is Harrison starting the egg hunt and the second is him getting a little momentum, as well as getting slightly greedy with the little pastel goodies! Enjoy and Happy Early Easter! He is risen indeed!

Have a little fun...today!

Do you know this little jingle??

I'm going to be singing it with Ellen Degeneres on Sunday!! Brett and I are going to a taping of her show here at Universal in Orlando!

I found out on Wednesday night and I honestly have not been this excited about an event since my very first concert (Debbie Gibson) at the Omni in 1989. Okay, okay, my wedding and the birth of Harrison were thrills, but you know what I mean, right???

You can be looking for us on her show airing April 1st, and that's no joke!

Grandma

There have been a few momentous things that have happened over the past few days that have seemed blog-worthy, but then life happened and this one just seemed to trump them all....

My sweet Grandma passed away yesterday. She was about the oldest person I knew, so it comes as no surprise, but still was a shock to hear of her life coming to an end on this earth.

Unfortunately, I was not overly close with my grandmother, but I loved her and appreciated her, especially as I have gotten older. Some of my happiest memories from childhood are from family road trips to Pittsburgh, PA to visit her and my Granddaddy.

I am so sad for her loss, and especially sad for my dad to lose his mom. She was 98 years old, having lived a very full, rich life, and in the past 2 years got to meet 3 great grandboys....

I found that when my brother died, I wanted to talk about him...I still do want to talk about him a lot, but that's another story for another day. But, I did want to share some sweet memories....the pictures below are when she met little Harrison for the first time when he was 4.5 months old (oh, how awful was his combover?)....When we left that day, she kept saying to me, "Thank you so much for bringing me that baby!" I had not seen her seem so alive in so long.

That day we also got this gem of a picture, which I will treasure forever. 4 generations! She had the biggest smile ever!

And one of her little sayings that we all loved..."Dorothy Nelson was my name and single was my station, blessed was the man who came and made the alteration!" She was too cute.

She has been waiting so long to be with that sweet man who changed her last name.

Madness!

Are you ready for March Madness?? I am!!

I must say, I have not always been a fan, but upon marrying my sports fanatic of a husband nearly 6 years ago, it is now one of my favorite times of year! March in Florida is heavenly even without the tournament, but I love, love, love this time of year watching the cinderella stories and seeing who comes out on top!

I have to give props to my friend, Blair, who is a basketball maniac. She tutored me through my first several years of bracketing. You see, I don't follow college basketball throughout the season until this tournament. And, I truly don't have a competitive bone in my body, and these things both come to my advantage, because I am almost always the winner of the Dooley Bracket. And yes, this bracket is just between me and Brett. And my lack of knowledge about most teams helps me to win a small wager from my darling hubby each Spring.

What do you think we should wager this year? Usually there is some money and a small yummy treat involved. And before you think I'm a gambler, this is only one of two bets we make each year...the other one being who will win the Georgia/Auburn football matchup each Fall...I'm proud to say, I have won that one most of our married years as well. Go Dawgs!

So, the mini-man is asleep, basketball is on, and I am ready. Brett Dooley, you're goin' down!!!

Have you ever...

filed a police report??

I did this for the first time about 2 and a half weeks ago...and do you know what was stolen from me??

My stroller...from the playground...parked and LOCKED...in broad daylight...

Can you see why it has taken me awhile to post about it? It still turns my heart a smidge black.

And even worse, it was a bugaboo. AKA my heart and soul and lifeline to a lot of things at this point in life....we love to walk to lots of places...as in, if it's in a 1-2 mile radius from our house, we walk there.

But, alas, she is gone, and I don't think she will return. However, through a series of generous people, we have a new stroller....not the same kind, but a wonderful jogging stroller that I already love. So I am thankful.

I wish I could say that week had gotten better, but it ended up getting worse. I lost something else that was far more dear and not as easy to replace. Something that will keep my heart fragile for quite awhile. But, this little guy....

has caught all my tears, patted my hair, and made me laugh so much even in the midst of pain. He is quite the companion, full of compassion and comfort, just like his daddy. I'm so thankful God has let me borrow these fellows for the duration of our short little lives.

I am still sad, but I am still blessed.