Paisley's Arrival

At 35 and a half weeks, we moved into a new home, and my (former) stepmother died, and I got into a fender bender (with a guy who turned out to be a little crazy and bothersome).  Stress and sadness would be understatements!

So, at my 36 week appointment, I asked the doctor if I could travel to Virginia Beach for the funeral.  He was going to let me...until he checked me.  I was 1cm, and the baby was super low.  He told me to stay put and stay out of trouble.  

This began the wait for our little girl.  I thought she would come any day.  And then, I kept not progressing....at my 39 week appointment, I was barely 2 cm and 50% effaced.  The doctor instructed me to schedule a 40 week appointment.  I wanted to cry, because I had never had a 40 week appointment before!  However, he said, anything could happen and to be ready!  I decided to laugh instead of cry.  That was Monday.

Wednesday was my last day to work at Harrison's school (it is highly parent involved).  I told my co-worker that I would just be her extra eyes (we watch preschoolers), as I was in pain.  I had been in pain and so tired for weeks, though, so I didn't think much of it.

That night, Brett put the kids to bed early as I laid on the couch.  We watched TV (Survivor, I think), and got into bed by 10pm.

At 2:20 am, I was laying on my left side, and bent my right leg.  In doing so, I felt a gush.  It woke me up!  My water had broken with Harrison and was continuous, but this was not.  There was nothing else.  So, I went to the bathroom, and still nothing more.  I was in the bathroom for a few minutes, and Brett asked, "Lauren?  Is it time?"  I told him I didn't know!!!  So, I got on my phone to look up to see if my water was partially broken.  He was antsy, and I told him the last think I wanted to do was go in the middle of the night as a false alarm!!

30 minutes later, I told him I think we should go.  So he jumped in the shower, and I called Amy, our middle of the night on-call friend.  I washed my face and got dressed, and she was there about 15 minutes later.   I showed her where everything was and gave her a few instructions, and Brett is pulling me out the door!  We ended up leaving our house about 3:15--almost an hour after I woke up!

As we went to the hospital (it's about 25 minutes away), Brett was stressed, so he was taking some stops at red lights pretty rough.  That's when I started to notice I was in a little pain.  I asked him to slow down sooner at the red lights!  He thought I was nuts!!

We arrived at Winter Park Memorial Hospital at about 340 am.  at about 4 am, I was in a room getting checked by Joy.  I went to the bathroom and changed into a gown, and as I came back to the bed to get checked, more water came, and it was red.  That made me nervous.  I have gotten increasingly nervous with each delivery because I know what's coming!  With Harrison, my ignorance was bliss!  So, at the reddish color, I started crying a little bit.  I was 4 cm, and my water had indeed partially broken.

I was moved to delivery room 2108, met the nurses and talked to the doctor (Dr. Moore) on call.  I got my IV sometime around 430 am.  I knew that the shift change would happen at 7am and that I probably wouldn't deliver before then.  When I got my IV, they told me it would probably be within the hour that I could get my epidural.  At this point I was starting to feel contractions about 5 minutes apart.

at 530, the nurses informed me that the anesthesiologist had an emergency csection, so it would be longer before my epidural.  I was okay with that, but the contractions were hurting.  At about 6 am he came and administered the epidural.  I was super nervous (I have had bad epidurals).  But, all went well.

While he was in there, we discovered who would be delivering me.  It was the only midwife at the practice I go to--her name is Terri Nesbit.  I had seen her for a couple visits, and never thought a midwife would deliver me, but she was so wonderful!

she checked me at this time, probably close to 7-730 ish, and said my water was not completely broken, so she broke the rest of it.  They called it a 'high leak', where it only partially breaks.  I am glad it was only partially broken because, if it had fully broken, I probably would have not made it to the hospital to deliver!

She checked me and I was still 4-5.  She said the epidural would slow my progression down a bit.  I was getting really numb on my left side, so the nurses turned me.

A little over an hour later, at about 840, she came back and said she was going to the office (across the street) and would be back at noon unless the nurses called her.  My nurse said she would definitely be back before then!  Terri said she was just going to have them give me a 'sniff' of pitocin to get things going.  She left. They started that up and then tried to buckle me up to the monitors and were having trouble.  They said the baby was fine, but they just couldn't find her because she was so low.  They asked when I was last checked.  I said a little over an hour ago--an hour and a half tops.  They decided to check me.  I was 10cm.  after she broke my water, I went from 4 to 10 in about an hour, but I couldn't feel a thing because I was SO numb!  I had been ready to push for several minutes already!  They called her and she came rushing back!  I pushed through one contraction, and then she said, "Lauren, I think we don't have to wait for the next contraction, can you give me one more small push?"  I did, and she was here!  I pushed twice for a total of maybe 5-7 minutes!  She probably would have been born 30 minutes earlier if Terri had checked me before she left!  It was SO fast once my water had broken fully!  Turns out I only got about 2 drips of the pitocin!  Brett asked if we could get our money back on that one and we all laughed!!

While I was pushing, I was really nervous, because I had ZERO feeling in my left side--the epidural took TOO much!  I had some feeling on the right side, but, otherwise I felt a bit out of control!  The nurses were holding my leg, and I could see it, but I couldn't feel it.  They let it go at one point and it slammed on the table.  That made me nervous, but we still made it through!  So, I got emotional during the pushing, and of course, holding her!  They immediately gave her to me and let me hold her for 30 minutes before weighing her, etc.  I was so emotional!  

We stared at her good and hard for that time making sure about what we should call her.  "Paisley" was our top name, but we had another one too, and I wanted to see her before we decided.  And I'm so glad we stuck with Paisley!  More on her name later!

Because it all happened so fast and I was so numb, I was really shaky and got chills for awhile--I was fine, but in a little bit of shock, I suppose.  They took all of both of our vitals.  She weighed in at 7 pounds, 5 ounces, and was 20 inches long.  So, so precious!!

They kept me in the delivery room for 4 hours--2 hours longer than usual, because I still couldn't move.  I didn't really feel un-numb until about 5 or 6 pm that day.  Talk about an epidural!

Then it was off to room 3114 to enjoy our precious new baby!  The hospital stay was exhausting as they had done away with their nursery since 6 years ago when Harrison was born there.  More on the stay later.

Until then, I'm so glad I took the time to write this down so that I could remember the arrival of our sweet gift!  More pictures to come!

Pregnancy

It has been so very long since I have updated this blog.  I really like writing on it, but this last year has been so full, and I have been over capacity in so many ways.  The prior year as we adjusted to being back in the states from overseas, we had so much margin, and it was so sweet, but this last year, I jumped back into life so fast, and I got overwhelmed and overcommitted pretty quickly, so it left little time to document much, but, this, oh, this, I had to document....

On August 23, 2013,  I found two very faded pink lines on a pregnancy test.  Shock, tears and disbelief, thankfulness, praise--it was a myriad of emotions!

I believe I have been pretty candid on this blog of how God is building our family.  Harrison was my gift of grace--I became pregnant with him so easily.  Now, years later, I know that I had the help of having just gotten off birth control--my body was going crazy and it gave me the illusion of thinking that I could get pregnant easily.  I had no idea that, for me, it would not be that simple.

Then, the journey to Blythe was pretty well documented on here with all the pain and waiting that was.  It was a near year and a half with a miscarriage smack right in the middle.  I remember feeling so desperate for another baby.  At times, it was a total idol of mine.  I felt so forgotten.  And then she came.  Our Blythe, meaning "joy", and that she was, and is--a gift of joy.

Her first birthday came, and we both wanted to have a third child, and thankfully became pregnant again, which quickly ended ectopically.  I was crushed.  But, thankful that God had spared my health and my tube.  This led to another more than year-long wait for another baby.  There were more tears, doctors appointments, and watching pregnancy announcements, people being fearful to tell me they were expecting.  But, this time was different...

This time, I knew, without a doubt, that God's timing was so perfect.  Painful, but perfect.  I rejoiced with friends expecting babies.  I shed tears sometimes that I couldn't be expecting with them, but I was glad.

But, the year wore on, and I became a bit more resigned that maybe our two children were what God wanted for our family.  Maybe He would call us to add to our family in a different way.  Over time, my resignation would become joyful...maybe?  Brett became more okay with not having another one, but I could not shake the feeling that there was one more spot in our family...one more soul to grow and nurture and love...one more name...and I knew that if she came, because I knew it would be another girl if she came, that part of her name would be Hope.

But, my hope was waning.  I was getting tired of hoping and getting let down.  I remember going on a walk crying on the phone to my friend, telling her that I just didn't think it was going to happen and I was ready to give up, and I think I would have, until the next week, I saw those two lines.

We were going to go to Hollywood Studios on that day--it was the last day of a year of Disney passes, and we were enjoying them until the last minute.  Brett had told me he was going to ride a certain roller coaster, and asked if I would be too.  My practice the entire year had been that if there was a chance I was pregnant to not ride a roller coaster.  He wanted me to not make that decision based on a 'what if', he wanted me to enjoy our last time at the park.   So, that morning, I got up early, and it was a bit early to tell if I was pregnant, but I had felt some cramping, so I took a test, while the house was asleep.  And there they were.  I could not believe it.

That was 9 months ago, and I now sit across the room from a sleepy little girl in a swing.  Her name is Paisley Hope, and she is just over 3 weeks old.  And I'm so tired.  And I have cried, because I'm not sure how I can do this--be the mama of 3.

But, it was so what I wanted, and I could not shake the feeling of there being room for one more in our family.  And God knew.   He knew she would come, and fill our hearts with so much love that we all might burst.  And she has.  And as I look at her, I will always be reminded to never give up hope--even when that hope is tiring and hard.

Paisley, you are such a welcome part of God's story in our family.  I can't wait to love you for all the days you are with us.

Welcome to the world, precious girl.

5 years

It's late, and I have no pictures to post.

But, this day is so emotional for me.

It passed by quickly.

I sobbed tears of joy with someone I love dearly.

I was able to have 2 sweet moms in my messy home for the afternoon.

I went to Bible Study.

All the while, remembering.

Today was the day he died.

5 years ago.

Kev.

And I miss him.  So much.  Still.

And I will, everyday, for the rest of this earthly life.

He added so much color to this world, that Kevin.  I am so glad I knew him.

And I'll see him again.   And I cling to that promise.

Until then, I will long for the day that death is no more.

And, I'll smile, and I'll cry, thinking of the joy it was to know him, and feeling the incredible pain that it was to lose him.

Miss you, Kev.  Love you long time.

Today I met Hope

Today.

Today was a really hard day for me.

Today was my due date with a special little one that now lays in Jesus' arms instead of mine.

One sweet little bug that was growing in my tube instead of the right place in my belly.

And my arms are still empty.

And so is my womb.

And I'm sad.

I stumbled through the day.  Exhausted, as my husband is out of town.  I thought about canceling my commitments today and farming out my kids so that I can just be alone with my grief...grief of the little one that we won't get to know on this side of Heaven, and grief of life, once again, looking different than what I would have hoped.

But, I didn't cancel.

I celebrated a dear friend's birthday.

I met with another new friend who is investing her time and talent in me and my story.

I met with a mentor who has been more life-giving to me this year than I could express in words.

And in the middle of it all, I ran into a sweet friend, and as I was visiting with her, another sweet friend's husband walked up.  He introduced me to his mom.

She was a dear, petite little thing.  With piercing bright eyes, and a smile that exuded joy.

I shook her hand.  We spoke.  She asked me which kids were mine.

And as I turned to chase my daughter, she said...

"Oh, and by the way, my name is Hope."

I stopped in my tracks.  Of course her name would be Hope.  On this day, of course, Jesus would give me a tangible reminder of HOPE.

Then she said, "But, you can call me Mamie." with a smile.

But, if I see her again, I will call her Hope.

And then I cried all the way home.

And I hugged my kids.

And I was reminded to not give up hope.

So, I won't.

What's in a name?

Eight and a half years ago, on our honeymoon, we talked about baby names.  We made a list.  I don't know where that list is.  But, the boy name at the top:  Harrison.  

Turns out that a few years later, it was the only one we could agree on!

We don't have the best family names between us, which was a value for me to use at least one.  Well, Harrison being my mother-in-law's maiden name, as well as Brett's middle name, was so perfect.  

But, then we read the meaning in our baby name book...

ADVENTURER

Jackpot!

We loved that...at the time, we were traveling overseas for weeks at a time, for several chunks of the year.  It was perfect to name him that, since we were on such an adventure ourselves...and what's even more perfect, is that my son is quite possibly afraid of his own shadow.

Adventurer?  Hmmm?

Yes.

He is the quiet observer in the room.  He may not try anything on a whim, but he certainly will try.  He will stick up for the kid getting sand kicked on him, and he will swim without a lifejacket, and he will dance his heart out when nobody's watching.  

And as I watch him grow, I know that this soft, tender, shy, loyal boy will grow into his own form of an adventurer.  Will he be methodical instead of spontaneous?  Maybe.  Will he think before he speaks?  Probably.  Will he make mistakes?  Tons.

Will his life be an adventure?

Absolutely.

And, I can't wait to see what kind of adventure it will be.

I love you, Harrison!

(His middle name is Case: Highly Distinguished-or Esteemed, can't remember which one!)

Talking

My son is so precious to me.

I have loved every moment since birth.

Every season has been my favorite.

Which makes this one my favorite right now.

He is rapidly approaching age 5, and with everything in me, I want to slam on the brakes.

But, also, with everything in me, I am dying to see something new each day.

Today...we talked.

We talk every day.  And every day it's special.

Here's a few things he said today.

I took him to Target with me.  It was SO fun!  And when we walked to the car, and I popped the trunk, he asked, "Mom?  Can I help you?"

Melt.

Tonight, he asked me, "Mom, do I have a Grandpa?"

I replied, "Well, yes, honey, Pa and Pop are your Grandpas"

"They are Grandpas?!"    "Yes!"

"Do I have Grandmas?"

"Yes, silly!  Gran and Nana are your Grandmas!"

"Do I have Uncles?"

"Hare Bear, you KNOW you have uncles!  You have Uncle Chris and your other Uncle Chris, and Uncle Dan, and You're about to have an Uncle Schuy, and you have your Uncle Kevin who lives in Heaven."

some more chatter....then, a few minutes later.

"Mommy, why did Kevin die?"

Oh, dear.  Do I go into this now?  What do I tell him?

"Well, buddy, God was finished with him on this earth."  That is all he needs to know right now.

"Mommy, what did you do with him?"

"Me?  With Uncle Kev?   We....we.....we LAUGHED!"

"What else?"

"We went to the beach."

"What else?"

"We ate sushi!"

"What else?"

"I picked him up from football practice."

More questions...and my final answer was, "we danced together at Mommy and Daddy's wedding".

"But, I wasn't there!  Was I still in your tummy?"

"Mommy, who will I marry?"

"Well, Harrison, God will bring you a girl that your heart loves."

"Whose heart does Daddy love?"  "Mommy."

"Whose heart does Mommy love?"  "Daddy."

"Mommy, what will her name be?"

"Oh, bud, I don't know!  Only God knows!  Maybe her name will be Sarah.  Or Abigail.   Or Samantha!"

"But, Mom!  I don't know anyone named Samantha!"

My precious boy...he asks the greatest questions.  I can only imagine what a great friend, and (maybe) husband he will be.  He made me laugh and cry tonight.  He is such a sensitive little guy.  It used to worry me.  But, I love every ounce of who God is making him.

And, Samantha, if you're out there, don't come knocking for at least 20 more years!!

Hope

About 6 years ago, Brett and I started naming our years...It has varied each year, whether we name it in January or September (which is our 'new' year) in marriage.  The words have been simple, but chock full of meaning...fun, change, healing....

This January we didn't talk about it much.

But, I have a word, and I think it will stand for both of us.

It is written on my plate that sits close to our door.

I wanted a different word.  I tried to think of a different word.  But, it kept coming back to me, and I knew I needed to look at it every day, not just for a year, but for the rest of my life.

It is so simple, and so complicated.

Hope.

That is my word for 2013.

What do I hope for?

So, so much.

Healing, rest, newness, community, clarity, confidence, call, a baby...

To hope is so dangerous.  I have done it all too often, especially in that last category I mentioned.  It has been deferred, and it truly does make the heart sick.

But, out of that hope, although we lost something so precious, we gained our Blythe.

6 months ago we lost another baby, by way of ectopic pregnancy this time.  And now that I have 2 beautiful children (who are miracles, as all children are, but because of something I've learned, mine are true miracles to me), I find myself trying to fight hoping for another one.

I say, 'it's fine, maybe we don't really want another one.'

But, we really do.

But, I find myself saying something so different to protect my heart from the months of waiting that might come, as they did with Blythe.

But, no matter what.  I believe that hope does not disappoint.

And, although I grow disappointed at times, I trust in a bigger story, with plans much better than mine.

And I wait.

And I HOPE.

Today

I'm just finishing day 16 out of 17 full days of my husband being halfway around the world.

Lord willing, he will be home tomorrow!

And it has been easy, so, so easy.   I have not cooked anything more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...I have been fed every single night by nearby families.  I have seen friends that I haven't seen in eons.  I have had so much help with my kids.  I have even gotten more than a few afternoons to myself.  My house?  It's a tornado.  A wreck.  But, I have had so much given to me that it is hard to complain about the time gone by without my other half.

But, today...today was hard.

It was long.  And I was so tired.  I am barely running on fumes.

My 18 month old didn't nap today, so to occupy her until an early bedtime, we went to play at a nearby Chick Fil A.  It was great.  We had ice cream and had lots of "Mommy time".  But, as I went to get a drink refill before our departure, through a series of accidental events, Harrison let Blythe run right out the door.

Thankfully I was RIGHT there, but she still made it to the parking lot.  I screamed.  I ran.  I embarrassed my son.  I shook for minutes afterward.  What if I had still been 10 feet away awaiting my refill?  What if a car had come at that second?  What if?  What if?

But, my baby.  She is fine.  And my other baby?  He is fine.

And I can't get hung up in the 'What if's'.  Because it will only make me crazy.

If 15 seconds of that moment had been different, she would have been smashed.  But, she wasn't.

And I hugged her tighter tonight.

And I hugged him tighter tonight.

And in 22 hours, I will hug my husband tighter when he, Lord willing, makes it home to me.

Grandlady

Juanita Tessener Dooley Mitchell

April 22, 1925--January 5, 2013

 They called her 'Grandlady'....and the name fit like a glove...

She was grand, and quite a lady....

We saw her just 6 days before she said goodbye to this world, and we prayed for her as we always do.  We had no idea that would be the day she would say 'goodbye' to her little buddy... my husband.  

I'm so grateful that my husband's grandmother felt like my own.

I loved you dearly, Grandlady, and I will miss you greatly.  And I will smile every time I think of you.

Back in action...Maybe.

So, I've been encouraged by a new dear friend to update this little blog once a week.

For lots of reasons.

And I'm contemplating doing it.

Because I like to write.

And because there's a lot welling up in my heart and my mind about a lot of things.

And because I like these 2 people, and I'm sure they will make frequent cameos.

We shall see if I rise up to the challenge.  

I'll try.

Harry

When Harrison was living in my belly, we didn't know if he was a boy or a girl.  Same thing with Blythe.  I loved it.  I loved not knowing, and when he came out it was the best surprise of my life.
However, it did make it tough in deciding on names...because we had to choose two.  One for a boy, one for a girl.

Well, we always knew if we had a boy we would call him Harrison, even dating back to our honeymoon.

And when we talked about it, we knew that at some point, if we had a boy named Harrison, that maybe when he was 15 and on a high school sports team (if he chooses), that maybe his friends and teammates might shorten it to 'Harry'.

Brett's middle name is Harrison (as well as his mom's maiden name), so growing up his family called him 'Harry' as kind of a funny nickname.  Well, when Harrison was born, we were clear that we didn't want him to be called 'Harry', because a couple of handfuls of people did ask if that was our intention.

Not that we don't like the name Harry,but, we named him Harrison to call him Harrison, but like I said, we figured maybe it would get shortened in a friendly way when he was a teenager.

Not when he was 4.

By his pre-school teacher.

H has darling teachers, one of them who kinda talks like Gloria from 'Modern Family'.  I noticed the first week she was calling him Harry.  Harrison said to me, 'Mommy, she calls me Harry, that's not my name.'  I told him, "Buddy, you're just gonna have to tell her that you like to be called Harrison.'

I kept hearing her say 'Hi Harry!'  "Bye Harry!'  And it was when I had a parent-teacher conference a couple weeks ago, that I heard them both refer to him as Harry.  I had thought maybe they were just calling him that as a cute little greeting at the beginning and end of class.  But, it was later that day, when he was playing at a classmate's house, that I noticed the other kid calling him Harry.

The name had already been shortened, about 10 years earlier than I anticipated!  And by the teachers!

I asked him if he minded, and he said, 'No, mommy, I don't like it, but it's okay sometimes.'

So, I had to do the unthinkable.

I had to go to his sweet teacher and ask her to call him Harrison.  I kind of hated that I had to do it, but, I think my baby was too shy to do it himself.

And I think he needed to see me be brave for him when he didn't feel brave enough himself.

And I'll do it over and over again, if each time, it might give him an ounce more courage.

Donuts with Daddy

About a month ago, Harrison was studying the letter 'D' at school.  To celebrate 'D' week, the teachers invited the Daddys for Donuts.  Brett was so excited he could hardly contain himself!  They had a great time and I'm so thankful for the memories that were made!  This week is 'H' week, complete with hat day.  Harrison is staying neutral, and instead of wearing his Georgia or Auburn hat, he has chosen to wear his cowboy hat.  He is pretty adorable!  Love that kid!

Eternity with my baby

I remember clearly where I was sitting in February of 2008 when I read the line that I am using as the title of this post...Brett and I were taking a Sabbatical, having just returned from Italy, and spending a week at the beach before we eased back into work after taking a month off.  I was still a few months away from birthing my first child, but already huge, and my emotions magnified with the pregnancy.

It was in a coffee shop off of 30-A in the panhandle of Florida that I opened up my computer to read a few blogs.  I checked into my friend Kadie's blog to read a precious post about her Everett confessing his belief in Jesus at a mere 4 years old.  I cried so many tears of joy, I wept in fact.  Because he was like my first child...he was my friend's first child!  My very first friend to be pregnant.  I was with her when she bought the test (and snuck it into my bag so that no one would be suspicious, although, let's be honest, I was still single, and a missionary, maybe it would have been more suspicious for people to think I might be pregnant?!)  I remembered the morning sickness, the day he was born, his first birthday, and here he was, making a life-changing decision to come to a faith that would not be easy, but would be joyful for the rest of his life?  I was overjoyed.  I could not imagine the day that I would get to experience this with my own child.

Until 2 months ago.

And now, I can honestly say that I will spend forever with MY baby boy.  Forever.

As the son of missionaries, little Harrison has been exposed to lots of Jesus talk.  Not just from us, although we hope to talk to him the most about it, and hopefully live life at home in a way where he would desire to share the faith that we have.  We talk to him a lot, pray with him a lot, and make LOTS of mistakes, and ask lots of forgiveness.  There is so much humility in parenting, and as much as I can make excuses to myself or to my husband, when my son tells me, 'Mommy, you were wrong',  It  usually means I am, and I say lots of "I'm sorry's" because I can't teach him to do it if I don't.

On the eve of August 14th, just 5 days after we moved back to Florida, Brett called me into Harrison's room while he was putting him to bed.  Harrison had said he wanted to have God in his heart.  I told him that I could pray a prayer that he could repeat after me if he wanted Jesus in his heart.  He said, "No, Mommy, you pray."  I told him it wasn't a decision I could make for him, but I still prayed anyway.  

2 days later, Brett and I didn't think anything of it, because we thought maybe he hadn't made that decision.  But, Brett reminded me that it's not just about praying, but believing with your heart and confessing with your mouth (Romans) that Jesus is Lord.  He began to ask H questions.  He asked him if he believed that Jesus died on the cross for his sins, and if he believed in his heart that He is God.  Yes, and yes!  He then asked if he could take his toys to heaven!  I told him he wouldn't need them there.  He then asked about if he could take his clothes.  He finally came to the conclusion that we could build a toy shelf when we get there!  

Since then, he has proudly proclaimed that Jesus is in his heart.  

And I'm grateful. 

 I pray that he will believe in Him all the days of his life.  

Lake Time

After our visit to NC, we drove down to Irmo, SC for one night to see my dad's latest project.  He is a custom home builder and I always love seeing the houses he builds.  They are usually very large and beautiful and I knew I would not have another chance to see this one since it is out of state.  The finished product will be absolutely gorgeous and ridiculously big (it's his biggest one to date), and I loved walking through it...but even better was the quick zip around the lake that we took that morning...

 My Dad and my Godfather Charlie built this boat in 1980, the year I was born...and I have lots of good memories of days on Lake Lanier on this guy!

 I had not had a ride on it with my dad since before our wedding in 2004...living in another state and another country, leaving only time for short visits doesn't make for much time on the lake...a crime, in my opinion!!

 So, because my Dad is spending half his time in SC, and Lake Murray is minutes away from where he stays there, he decided to take his boat up there.  so, I jumped at the chance for us all to take a ride with him.

 Warms my heart...

 We didn't have a lifevest for Blythe, so Brett and I took turns riding while Harrison "drove".  Brett had never even seen the boat and wasn't sure it even existed until now!  It was a short, but sweet time and brought back lots of good memories...we won't let 8 more years go by before we go for another ride on this special boat!

Visit to Cary

In July, we visited my dear brother and sister-in-law in Cary, NC.  The visit was too short, as always, but packed with some sweet time.  It was days before Blythe's first birthday, so Lindsey, as thoughtful as she is, had a little mini celebration during our time there!

 Lindsey, Grace, Blythe and me

 our precious girl

 This is such a Brett face to me!!

 Those long eyelashes just about kill me!!

 Gracie really took to her Uncle Brett...He really likes the babies!!

 budding pianist!!

 Harrison LOVES his girls!   We call Gracie 'Cheeks'...can you see why?  Those cheeks are JUST killer!

Thanks, Chris, Lindsey and Gracie, for having us (2 months ago).  It was a special time that we will never forget!!

Cute

Just a few things I wanted to remember...

Today my sister took Harrison to the park...he came home with little flowers for me.

He said, "Mom, I picked some beautiful flowers for you because you're so beautiful."

Melt my heart!

And, Story # 2...

 Yesterday I took Blythe to the doctor to check on a lingering cold...

The doctor I saw was someone new to me...

He picked her up and smiled at her and she smiled right back, and he said:

"Phew, her Daddy needs to worry!"

It's true...he already does...

Looks like I'll need to keep BOTH my kids under lock and key until they are 25!

Oh, and it's just a head cold for the little pumpkin!

Today

Harrison said,

"Mommy, you're the best cooker."

And I just wanted to remember it.  So I'm writing it here.

Because I'm not a very good cooker.

But he thinks so.

So, I'll take it!

She's one!

Interview with a 4-year-old

 On May 19, this little guy turned four years old.  Four.  Four.  Four.  I really just cannot get my mind around it.  I spent 4 years in high school.  4 years in college.  4 years total in China.  There is so much in my almost 32 years of life that has lasted 4 years.  It seems so long at the beginning, but goes by in a flash, and here I am, with a son who is as old as my favorite days of life in Athens and Chengdu, China.  Wow!!  Brett and I have exclaimed over the past year that we LOVED age 3.  It was the most challenging age so far, but SO MUCH FUN!  And in the past few months, we have realized that our baby turned into a toddler, and our toddler is now a little boy (but if he heard me say that he would say, 'Actually, mom, I'm a BIG boy').  

 Well, this big boy is exactly that...SO BIG!  He is tall and skinny with not an ounce of baby fat on him anymore...these pictures are not actually from his birthday but from a few different occasions in April, and they all represent something that I want my memory to cling to forever...his first (and many to follow) ice cream cone at Ikea in China, him walking countless stairs in downtown Chengdu...when we moved there, I had to carry him, but he morphed into a stair climber...his favorite face to make at almost age 4...his train conductor hat as he plays with one of his loves...trains (cars top the trains by only a 1/2 %!), and his darling smile.  He is a treasure!

 We had a party at a nearby playground a few days before his birthday, because we flew to Shanghai on the big day in preparation to fly back to the States on the 20th.  I'll hopefully post about the party later...So, at the Shanghai airport, we celebrated at Burger King (I know, you're thinking, that is so gross, and you haven't eaten at the BK since you were 9, but, overseas, these fast food chains are like a dream come true!)

 We had a little dance party and got some stares from a few locals and Harrison managed to poop on the floor in the bathroom, which is another story for another day, but amidst all the fun, we managed to ask him some birthday questions, which is a new favorite tradition of mine, learned from my precious friend Anne Coleman.  We have continued the interview throughout the week and here are some of the answers....

Me: Harrison, what was your FAVORITE thing about being 3?
H:  Ummmm, turning 4!
Brett:  Well, buddy, you're growing SO fast...let's slow down a little so we can do lots of fun things, okay?
H: Yeah dad, like eat ice cream!
Me: Harrison, who is your best friend?
H: Cameron and Gunner
Me: What is your favorite color?
H: Dark blue, blue, and light blue (He likes to cover his bases, huh?)
Me: Harrison, what's your favorite food?
H: Watermelon (while he was eating watermelon)
Me:  What do you want to be when you grow up?
H: A King or a tiger.
Me: Who is your hero?
H: Daddy.  (No prompt here...probably one of Brett's favorite moments ever!)

My favorite is the very first question...He loves being 4!  He always says to me, "Mom, I can do it, because it's easy for a big boy."  He also says "Actually" ALL the time, which is really funny to me!  He has flown at least 40 times in the air and has landed his feet in 5 different countries, he is a tender, shy, loyal and cautious little guy, and I love him, I love him, I love him.  I'm so glad God chose me to be his mom...the hardest, but most rewarding job I have ever had.  Happy Birthday, Hare Bear.  I am so glad you're my boy!

jet lagging

Well, we are here...back in the good ole' US of A!  I have neglected to write much about it or anything lately as, of course, there was much to do to leave China and arrive here, but I also think I was just avoiding processing the inevitable...leaving.  Did 2 years really just pass by?  Was it all just a dream?  So much of it was impossibly hard, but in a strange way, I loved it.  I miss it already and will miss it forever.  And here I sit in the fog of jet lag, with one kid playing couch potato, loving watching American TV again, and one baby screaming her lungs out since the time won't let her know when to stay awake or go to sleep.  We are trying to unpack and settle in to my dad's house for the summer before we move back to Orlando in August.  I'm not sure how I feel about any of it.  Sad, excited, overwhelmed, but mostly grateful.  Grateful for our time overseas, and grateful to call America my home for a time until we possibly go elsewhere.  I hope to come back and share a little bit about our time there as I have a few more minutes to hang out here on the blog.  I most definitely will be reporting on a brand new 4-year-old boy very soon!! Until then, I will just try to stay awake and enjoy the sunshine and green grass, while missing my friends halfway across the world, and hoping to make new ones here.  I'll be back soon!